


Stray Ends

by Abydosorphan



Category: Birds of Prey (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-21
Updated: 2008-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 06:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1636643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abydosorphan/pseuds/Abydosorphan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dinah's mother returns to Gotham, it stirs up some hidden feelings in Barbara as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stray Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Very huge thanks to Havocthecat, Lyssie, SGCGategirl, and Amilyn for the much needed betas and sounding boards. You all are the best!
> 
> Written for Rachel

 

 

Barbara Gordon toweled off her hair and looked at herself in the steam-covered mirror. She had done a lot of outrageous things in her time. Falling into bed with one of her partners had never been one of them. Until last night.

"Are you almost done in there, Babs? I was hoping we could chat before I left."

Barbara sighed. She had been hoping Carolyn would have left while she was in the shower. How was she supposed to treat this? What was she supposed to say? She had no idea how she even felt about what had happened between them the night before. How was she supposed to convey that to the other woman? Carolyn had been her friend and her colleague; was she also now her lover?

Taking a deep breath, and hoping that she could use the same courage and determination that she put forward every time she put on the bat suit, Barbara opened the bathroom door.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hanging up the phone and listening to the sounds of Dinah and Helena spar upstairs, Barbara was surprised to notice her hands had a slight tremble to them as she placed the receiver on the counter. Of all the people she hadn't expected to hear from, Carolyn was at the very top of the list. While things hadn't ended _badly_ between them, things had never been _normal_ after their night together. 

Their relationship had become strained and then all hell had broken loose. Carolyn had fled, Selina had been killed, she herself had been shot, and most of Gotham had changed forever.

Of course, Carolyn would know how to contact her. The two of them had never hidden their true identities from one another. Many of their colleagues had been open among the others. And it wasn't like Barbara Gordon, teacher at New Gotham High, had any reason to bother with an unlisted number.

When she'd instructed Carolyn on how to get to the Clock Tower, the other woman had laughed, knowing her destination almost immediately. Now she was hesitant, though, almost nervous. She had no idea what to expect from Carolyn, or why she had suddenly returned, and no idea how things would go between them. Moving over to the elevator, Barbara took a deep breath and decided that the only way to find out how things would go, would be to handle it the way she'd handled just about every other situation that had been thrown at her throughout her life - by facing it head on.

The elevator doors opened and instantly Barbara watched as the look on Carolyn's face changed. Barbara had seen the look before. She almost expected it with some people. It was one thing to know that someone was 'limited' to a wheel chair; it was entirely different to see them in it. Some people didn't know how to handle it.

"It's been a while, Carolyn. What got you to fly through these parts again?"

She watched as the other woman blinked a few times before focusing on her face and smiling. "I'm looking for someone and I need your help."

Barbara smiled, backing up the chair to make room for Carolyn's movement as she led her over towards the central computer. "So, who are you looking for? Thief, crook, crime lord, meta-human? And how did you know to come to me?"

Carolyn's light laugh broke her gaze from returning to Barbara's chair and forced her eyes to focus on Barbara's face. "Rumor had it that there was someone running things in New Gotham; an all-knowing over-seer of sorts. When I called, I figured that you'd be able to put me in touch with whoever it was. Once you told me where to meet you, I figured it was you. So you hung up your suit and decided to sit behind the desk and run things?"

Barbara smiled and picked her glasses up off of the edge of the desk. "I guess I decided I was a bit more like my father than I wanted to be." Barbara flexed her fingers and stretched, "So, where do we begin?"

Carolyn's hand hesitantly rested at the back of Barbara's chair, and Barbara felt her spine stiffen slightly in reaction. The action was one that others had taken; one that Helena did on a regular basis, and one that would not normally elicit any reaction from Barbara. But Carolyn was not any other person and their relationship had never been typical.

"You've got quite the set-up here." Carolyn leaned forward to look at the central monitor and Barbara stiffened, her sweater starting to feel a little too warm for the temperature in the room.

"It takes quite a bit to keep track of the New Gotham police force and all the criminal activity that goes on here. It's not the city it used to be, Canary."

Carolyn smiled and shook her head. "I haven't gone by that in ages."

"Which leads me to wonder," Barbara asked as she brought the police log online, "what have you been up to and just where have you been all this time?"

"Barbara! You're _not_ going to believe this!" Helena's voice interrupted the question and Carolyn took a step away from the chair before Helena and Dinah came into view on the loft level overhead.

Dinah's face fell almost the instant that she laid eyes on Carolyn, and before Barbara could ask what was going on, Carolyn spoke.

"Dinah?"

"Mom?"

All eyes immediately turned to Carolyn. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Barbara wasn't sure what she'd expected when she'd offered Carolyn the second guest room. On some level she thought that maybe the two generations of crime-fighting women would get together and - perhaps - learn a bit from each other. Dinah stalking off and spending the night at Gabby's hadn't been part of the equation. Given the apparent animosity between Carolyn and Helena, Barbara couldn't blame the young woman for not wanting to stick around any longer than was necessary.

Given their past, and the complete and total lack of resolution between them, Barbara wasn't at all confident in how successfully this night would play out. And then there were the years they hadn't seen or heard from each other. That added another dimension altogether. 

Carefully, she knocked at the door to her spare bedroom. "Carolyn? I picked up some Chinese from the place around the corner you used to like."

The door opened and Carolyn leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest, guarded. "I didn't handle that right this afternoon, did I?"

Barbara sighed. "I'm not sure I'm in the best position to answer that question."

Carolyn's laugh was cold, distanced. "Barbara, I think you've spent more time with my daughter than I've spent with her in her entire life-including the six years I had her. Did you even know that I _had_ a daughter?" 

She moved from the doorway and headed out towards the kitchen as she spoke. Barbara was at a loss to do anything but follow her and answer her question.

"No. I didn't. But I don't think we ever wound up being the closest of people."

Carolyn turned into the kitchen and started randomly opening cupboards to find dishes for their food. Barbara had seen this type of movement often enough, usually by Bruce when he needed to burn off some steam and work out a problem in his head. She didn't have the heart to tell Carolyn that the dishes were stacked on the island.

"That's what I don't want," Carolyn said tightly. "How can Dinah have friends? How can she let people in? How can she ever just be _normal_ if this is her life?"

Barbara kept her position on the other side of the island, not wanting to invade the delicate balance that seemed to have developed between them. "How did any of us manage any semblance of normalcy? And with the powers she's developing, how can you think she has those chances even now?"

Carolyn's movements stopped, but she remained facing the cabinets, her back tight and stiff.

"She's already touched on a big part of what all of this means, Carolyn. Her history with her foster parents shows her that she _can't_ have a normal life. It's not who she is, and she can't deny that. It's not who any of us are."

Carolyn's head hung down to her chest, and she turned without looking at Barbara, her head lifting slowly only after the movement was over. Her eyes fell on the plates piled on the island and she shook her head and smiled.

"Let's just eat before I start worrying about where she is or what she's doing any more than I already am."

Barbara grabbed the plates and smiled. "Dinah is fine. She's at Gabby's. Though they're probably talking about their various romantic interests a bit more than the subjects they're supposed to be studying."

Sitting at the table, Carolyn reached for one of the cartons of food and shoveled some of it onto her plate before handing the carton to Barbara. "You haven't implanted her with a transdermal locator or anything, have you? Though, come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea."

Barbara laughed a little of the tension loosening in her chest. "No, I haven't done anything like that, yet. She's a good kid, Carolyn." Barbara put some food on her plate and placed the carton off to the side. Picking up the chopsticks she grabbed a mouthful of food and smiled. "And in case I have any doubts, there's a small tracker in her knap sack. I figured since she'd run away before and I want to be sure she's safe, should she ever decide to do it again."

Carolyn shook her head and smiled. "I should have known. It was always a little tough to get much past you, wasn't it?"

Barbara smiled. "I just like to have all of my bases covered."

The rest of the meal passed in companionable silence. Several times Barbara got the impression that Carolyn was trying to say or ask her something, but she wasn't sure what. And honestly, she had no idea how to broach her own questions where the other woman was concerned, so she let it drop.

They cleared the table together and stored the leftovers in the fridge. Barbara wasn't about to think of what may or may not be on their agenda in the coming days, so having food handy was always a plus.

Grabbing the pot from the counter, Barbara looked over at Carolyn staring out of the window nearest to her. "Would you like some tea?"

Carolyn turned around and leaned on the back of the chair she had recently vacated. "Tea sounds wonderful."

She stared at Barbara for a few moments. Even after Barbara had filled the pot and put the water on to boil, she could feel Carolyn's eyes still on her. "What's on your mind, Canary?"

Carolyn shook her head. "It's all changed so much. We've all changed so much. I have to wonder what we were thinking back then."

Barbara turned and went over to the woman's side. "We were thinking the same things that I still do -- that we had a right, a responsibility to do some good and help people. Whatever our reasons or abilities, we took in those that were like us and we helped each other. We were a family. Not your typical definition of one, but one that - for the most part - worked."

Carolyn's gaze moved from the window to Barbara. "What happened to us, Barbara?"

She swallowed before answering the question, "The Joker got the upper hand. He found out how to really get to Bruce - his one real vulnerability - and he went after it."

Carolyn shook her head and smiled, "That's not what I mean. Not what I was asking." Carolyn leaned down and placed her hands on the armrests of Barbara's chair. "What happened to _us_ , Barbara?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but snapped it shut before she could. The answer was not an easy one to come by, and it was probably not something that would help alleviate the stresses from everything else going on. "Carolyn, I...."

"Yes?"

Carolyn leaned in and Barbara felt herself coming close to, once again, throwing caution to the wind.

"I...."

The whistle of the teapot was not the interruption Barbara had been hoping for, but it caused Carolyn to jump slightly and broke the moment.

"I need to get that." When she'd reached what she seemed like a safe distance, Barbara swallowed, took a deep breath. They had other, more pressing things, that they would be focused on. "It might not be the perfect life, Carolyn. Many might not even choose to try it, but it's a part of all of us."

Carolyn leaned over the table while Barbara steadied her hand and lifted the teapot, pouring out a cup. "I'm not going to let her get into the life. There's too much to lose."

Sighing, Barbara finished pouring. "Maybe that's a choice we all need to make for ourselves."

Pushing off the table Carolyn walked over toward Barbara. "Can you tell me that you never regret it?"

Barbara looked away from her and poured a second cup. "Why, because I'm in this chair?" She finished pouring and offered the cup to Carolyn.

Taking the cup, Carolyn's gaze focused on the wheelchair once again. "No." 

Barbara shook her head, her eyes meeting Carolyn's. "No, I don't regret it. I'm thankful for every moment I have, and I'm thankful for every moment I had before I got hurt. Not being able to walk doesn't affect why I do what I do, it only affects how I do it. Carolyn, Dinah has some extraordinary gifts -- telepathy, telekinesis, and who knows what else she might develop? She could be every bit as great as you."

Carolyn's gaze shifted, her stance becoming tense. "And she could get shot at before breakfast, tortured before lunch, and knocked unconscious for dinner, also like me. That's not what I want for her."

Barbara sighed. This wasn't going the way she had hoped. "It's what she wants for herself. And we - I - love having her here. She has the heart, Carolyn -- the one thing all of us in this 'saving the world' business can't do without."

"Well, take it from me, Oracle - you can't save the world and be a mother."

Barbara knew that it would be striking a low blow. She knew that it might ruin any chance that they two of them had for reconciliation. But she had to get Carolyn to understand. "Maybe she needs a mentor more than a mother right now."

Carolyn's eyes flared, and Barbara knew that she had struck a chord. "Look, I've already made one terrible mistake. I'm not going to make another." She paused and her voice took on an even more determined tone. "I'm going to protect her."

Barbara sighed, not sure if she would ever be able to get the point across. "But you're going to deny who she is."

Carolyn's stare was hard and cold. "If that's what it takes."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Barbara had known that sending Carolyn out to get Dinah hadn't been the wisest decision she'd made. She knew that there was a chance that neither of them would be coming back. But what she hadn't figured on was the fact that Al Hawke would be so close that the quick run to 'No Man's Land' would give him the opening he needed.

She'd told Dinah that this was the job, that they saved people by keeping their heads and thinking clearly. But even saying those words had taken every bit of effort she'd had. It was a total front. She was trying to keep her head, trying to think clearly, and all the while she was feeling the same thing that Dinah was. Her last conversation with Carolyn hadn't gone the way that she'd hoped. And even when it started to turn in a slightly more _interesting_ direction, she'd steered it clear of personal issues that involved her directly. Instead, she moved it toward another subject, to one that only involved her in passing. But it had been hard to change Carolyn's mind her when it had already been made up. Carolyn had already convinced herself that Barbara had become more of a mother to Dinah that she'd ever been.

Barbara wondered if that was her path in life.

To take in, care for, and become a mother figure to the orphaned children of her friends. If Selina were alive would she envy Barbara's relationship with Helena in much the same way? Or was this more a resentment because of that one night of indiscretions so many years ago?

The explosion at the warehouse had just been the icing on the cake. Black Canary had once again been responsible for the downfall of the Hawke family. And now Al Hawke was lying in a hospital room, awaiting his condition to be upgraded from critical, so that he could stand trial for the murder of one Ms. Carolyn Lance. 

Barbara wasn't sure whose definition of justice Al Hawke's fate fit into, but if - and Barbara was willing to believe it was a very big if - Carolyn Lance had indeed died in that explosion, in her mind, justice had not been served. Barbara knew Carolyn Lance a bit better than anyone else. She knew how passionate and persistent the woman could be, especially when she had a specific goal in mind. She knew that the objective of making sure she could keep her daughter safe would now be her top priority, and while Barbara had no intention of letting anything happen to anyone that she took in under her protection, she was sure Carolyn would be keeping an eye over them.

It might be several more years before she ever saw Carolyn again. But she was sure that when she eventually did, they would have a time to discuss some of the other things that had happened between them over the years. Hopefully, with few or no interruptions.

 


End file.
